Relationships form the basis of our lives, from birth to death. We learn how to be attached to people from our parents or caregivers and carry those lessons into our adult lives. Yet, we may not be aware of how we carry our family of origin into our relationships with others. I assist people to identify and change patterns that stop them from feeling safe with others to be authentically themselves. It is my mission to help people have better relationships.
Many things can go wrong in a relationship and many people wait quite a while before they seek help. If you find yourselves unhappy, fighting about little things over and over, avoiding conversations altogether, or drifting apart, couples therapy is the place to find out what you can choose to do to reconnect. I say choose because it will be up to each person in the relationship to understand their part in the struggles and to determine if they are ready to do what they need to do to make those connections possible. I begin with the premise that the only person you can change is yourself and that if you change, the system you are in has to change. This isn’t easy work, but the alternative is to give up on your hopes and dreams together.
Couples may also face challenges due to the stressors of raising children, household duties, finances, work, past hurts or betrayals, and so much more. My many years of working with couples and my approach using the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy allows me to quickly help couples stabilize their current situation and begin the journey to healing. With practical and individualized interventions that couples practice in and out of the sessions, real progress can be made to alleviate your pain and the aid the redevelopment of trust, respect, and joy.
I and offer a secure place to explore your relationship needs, no matter your sexual orientation, gender identity, or whether you choose to be monogamous or consensually non-monogamous. All welcome here.
OTHER QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS?
We’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t work. How will this be different?
Finding the right fit between you and a therapist involves asking questions and being in a place to actually do the work. I want to talk with both members of a couples whenever possible so I am clear about what they are seeking and they can be clear about how I work. This can be done in a 20 minute phone consultation or online meeting. If you do not feel I am the right person for you, or if I do not think I am the person to help you, I will be happy to give you referrals. It has to feel right on both sides. Additionally, if you are not sure which way to go, I offer Discernment Counseling to couples on the brink of breakup or divorce to get clarity and confidence in their decisions about their relationship. Please click here for more information.
I ask couples to complete a number of questionnaires before our first meeting so I can have a fuller picture of the problems as well as their hopes and dreams. This allows us to get off to a stronger start from the very beginning. From that first session, we don’t recreate the fights or the avoidance dance that you might be doing at home. The structure I provide is designed to shift the couple’s dance right off the bat, to help you create a clear roadmap for the sessions ahead, and to leave couples with a sense of hope and greater commitment to what lies ahead.